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The Early Days

Edwina Margaret Rose Monsoon was born in the early 50's to Mother and Daddy. They were a nice family, though Mother didn't take her rubber gloves off for the first twelve years, and according to Edwina made "Eraserhead" look like "Emmerdale Farm." Daddy was scared stiff of Edwina, and Mother could never keep her in line either.

At school Edwina's best friend was Patsy. Though Edwina and Patsy were fast friends, they were different in age. Patsy's mother evidently sent Patsy to school late. She berkata Patsy cramped her style and made her feel old. She would have got rid of Patsy,...
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