i wrote this story for my practice end-of-year-12 exams, i got a good mark, but now i want to know if it was acctually any good outside of scoolish expectations.

i posted it as an aritcle called "writers group, session 5" sadly, i dont know how to do the cool tag thing where the words go blue and u click on them, so the link is as follows :D

link

For some tips on how to insert links, you could read the link, which a number of us have written to help users know how to use the features.

thanks :p

Okay...I know the deadline's past, but seeing as no one else besides pixie09 has posted anything, could I sneak something in for critique? If it's alright, I'll a few pages at a time.

I originally wrote this for a writing contest, a year and a half ago. The premise was that the main character had a brain tumor. If they had surgery to remove the tumor, it would cause them to be deaf. If they went without the surgery, they could die from a stroke at any moment. And if they chose surgery, they had thirty days until the appointment. So this was my take on it.

I'm actually hoping to get this published someday, so please don't hesitate to point out what needs work. I thrive on concrits! =D

WARNING: If you are allergic to God or Christianity, you might not want to read this. =P

Ode to Joy - Part 1

Josie ran.

“Maybe I made a mistake thinking you’d understand!”

“Well maybe I made a mistake marrying you!”

She ran, not heeding the tempest that tore at her clothes nor caring where she fled to as long as it was someplace far from home. Away from the chaos of her fighting parents and the hopelessness of the choice she was faced with.

“A tumor?”

“...it’s pressing on your brain stem and growing rapidly. If it isn’t taken care of soon, it will be life-threatening. The surgery, however, would cost you your hearing... Permanently...”

Her heart pounded in time with her feet; a frantic, angry rhythm that drummed in her ears and accentuated the storm raging within her and around her. Freezing rain drenched her hair and pelted her skin, mingling with the hot tears that sprung from her eyes. The back fields stretched out before her and her shoes left the concrete, now thudding against soggy earth and dead grass.

“Geez, Jo. You and that piano...seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if you married the thing someday. You’re like the only person I know who’s named their instrument. And it’s not even yours!”

“Hey! Don’t you diss my future Yamaha. Someday it will be mine; you just wait, Kim...”

A sudden pain exploded in her head and she stumbled to a halt, leaning against the rough bark of a nearby tree for support. Her ears began ringing in protest as she panted for breath.

“Why?” she choked. The branches above her head whipped back and forth as the wind howled through them, an echo of her heart’s cry. Too furious to notice the headache, Josie raised her head and yelled at the sky,

“Why, God?! Why me? What do You want from me?”

There was no answer. No mighty thunderclap, no booming voice from heaven, no hopeful sunbeams peeping from beyond the churning clouds. Just the storm, the cold and His silence.

“Are You listening?” she shouted again, her voice swallowed up in the rain. “Do You even care? Do You?”

And still, there was nothing.

Anger dwindled into grief and she burst into tears, clutching her forehead with a trembling hand.

“Music is my life,” sobbed Josie. “How can You take that away from me? How could You let this happen? Of all the people on this planet, why me?”

The wind eventually softened into a cold, drizzly breeze; and for a moment, it almost seemed as though the sky wept with her.

Before she’d finished crying, her ears picked up on a voice calling from behind her.

“Josie? Is that you, girl?”

Startled, she turned around and caught sight of a bent figure coming towards her through the rain, carrying a bright yellow umbrella. Recognition flashed though her mind. “Aunt Naomi?”

The old woman waved her over and reached out to touch her face; pale, unseeing eyes wandering around as she ran shriveled fingers over Josie’s nose and cheeks.

“Aha! I knew that voice was yours, Josie-girl. How on earth did you end up in my backyard?”

“I’m...not sure, actually.”

“Good lord, you’re soaked to the skin...” Naomi brushed her fingertips over the girl’s eyes and grunted. “And you’ve been crying. Goodness child, you’re a wreck. Hurry along and come inside with me. You’ll catch a cold if you stay out in this weather much longer.”

Josie numbly obeyed.

he held the strange woman in his arms and kissed her with a passion that made the heat in my body overflow. I sprinted towards the promiscuous pair and dragged the woman away by the hair.
"why Jack?" I asked my voice breaking twice.
"I don't know. It was nothing. She meant nothing-" He broke off and sucked in a deep breath as the strange got up and spat at the dirt by his feet. "you are spinless you rat." Well once she saw that, it was finished.

How do you be a aprt of these writing sessions/groups here on fanpop?