Cold Toes
Prologue
June 30, 2004
11:45 Open Door Eating
It’s the worst hari in the world for a lunch date. I look like hell my light brown hair was frizzing like a poodle. Damn this humid summer, only in Texas the humidity 90% all the time. And this place is like a hut; all the hot air coming from the windows is blowing out the A/C. How is any one able to enjoy lunch when they are drinking the air?
I looked over to Ethan, who was making his way towards the table. We had been together so long in this little town. I cinta it to death but I think its time to pindah out. Greene, Texas has nothing to offer me in the medical field. Sure, the college has gotten me started but I want to be an oncologist, and its just not here. Both of my parents had cancer in there lifetime. I just wanted to help other people get through it.
“Hi Rachel, ” Ethan looked hansom, the humidity was gleaming off him. He lived here all his live, I, on the other hand, moved here my junior tahun in high school from San Francisco, California. It wasn’t just the way his perfectly tanned skin glistened in the humidity that made me fall for him, it was that dimple on his left cheek, the baby blue eyes with that messy black hair.
I stood to ciuman my wonderful boyfriend, “Hello Ethan, how are you?” I never ask stupid pertanyaan like this. The world has been trained to answer ‘good’ no matter what. Then again I always ask stupid pertanyaan when I'm nervous. I have no idea what is going on today and I'm sweating like a pig before the slaughterhouse.
“I'm good, anda look beautiful.” He smiled, and took a slip of water. Ha! I look beautiful, this dress is much too tight and I'm bloated. Can he not see the swear marks under my arms. I wasn’t looking all that great.
All through lunch Ethan was anxious. What could be oh his mind? He looked down in his lap and at his food when he would talk. He was debating telling me something. Oh God, I think he knows about Justin.
Justin was his best friend and 2 weeks yang lalu I accidentally slept with him. How do anda accidentally sleep with anda boyfriend’s best friend. We were at a party and I was drunk we had just got into a huge fight before. I left and went upstairs to a room and Justin was in there what was I suppose to do, talk about my feeling. I feel awful I want to tell him but its too much pain, I cant even thing about it.
“Ok I have to ask anda something,” he insisted. I don't think he knows. He wouldn’t be so calm. He would be much angrier. My jantung began to pound when he reached over the meja and held my hand. He looked in to my eyes. I didn’t know what I looked like right now. Frighten, nervous, panicked, they were all jumbled across my face. I curved my lips up into a smile, “What is it.” I berkata moving a strand of hair behind my ear with my empty hand.
“I want to pindah to Delaware with you,” he berkata breathing heavily. “I know anda applied there for medical school so I decided I want to go with anda I mean we just graduated college, and I don’t need anymore school, so there is no point in staying here.” He went on about what his parents think, but I stopped listening.
He knew about Delaware. I didn’t even tell him, I wasn’t even sure if I got accepted to Harp Medical School. I had been looking at schools in the area and I applied to Marlon’s and Harrington’s just outside of the Huston metropolitan area hoping we could stay close to home. He was really going to be there for me. He was going to follow me in my hope to becoming a doctor. I felt my eyes water up, I bit my bottom lip and mid sentence, I leaned over the meja and I kissed him. This was the sweetest thing any one has ever done for me.
“Wow I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.” He mumbled as I sat back down. The best part, there was something better then this. What could be better following me wherever I decide to go? I lightly chucked and whipped the tear from my eye.
He stood up and kneeled beside me. Oh god no this was not happening “Rachel Brian, I cinta anda with all my heart. I will do anything for you. anda are my life and I will follow anda wherever anda will go. Will anda merry me?” he held my ring, the ring I had dreamed of since I was a girl. A emas band with sliver trimming. All my life I hated diamonds and I have never worn any, he new that. New tears welled up in my hazels eyes.
Marriage. The word ran threw my ever fiber turning off all the responses in my body. I sat there in awe. Marriage. I had never thought of this before. I thought it would be an awful thing. My oldest sister had been married 3 time and she wasn’t even 45 yet, I'm 21, I still have my whole life ahead of me am I really ready for this. Marriage. The nerves in my head just couldn’t click to that word. It’s was a bad word. Marriage. I didn’t deserve to use this word. I cheated on him. Will this make it better? Marriage.
If I say yes then what, we stay here till the end of the summer and get married just before school. But if I say no then this will crush both of us. My brain is saying no and that I have so much ahead of me. I'm going to be a great doctor in 4 years why can I just wait. My jantung is saying you’ve waited long enough. But you’re too young and you’re not ready.
I had been with him since freshmen tahun in college. Yeah, it took 4 years to get to this hari but I wasn’t ready for this. Do I say ‘not this tahun Ethan, try again in 06’ no I can’t this was it I had to say something now. For better atau worst. Richer unto poor. I do. I do cinta anda so lets go make a public statement.
The color was draining out of his face “Rachel?” he berkata slightly blushing. I'm not ready I don't have my answer yet I need a menit to think.
I lost all connection to my jantung and brain, my lips took over instead. “Yes Ethan Ellison I would cinta to merry you” relief took over his whole body as he placed the ring on my left hand.
My brain was screaming idiot and my jantung berkata if anda must. I let out a big breath and hugged my fiancé.
