These are genuine clips from British Council flat (apartment) tenants
complaining to the Council about problems with their flats
1. My semak, bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would anda please do something about the noise made oleh the man on puncak, atas of me every
night.
6. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
8. My lavatory kursi is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am menulis on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will anda please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
15. Will anda please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour ¬ fit to drink.
16. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
17. The man selanjutnya door has a large erection in the back garden, which
is unsightly and dangerous.
18. Our dapur floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it.
19. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when
he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20. I wish to laporan that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
complaining to the Council about problems with their flats
1. My semak, bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
5. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would anda please do something about the noise made oleh the man on puncak, atas of me every
night.
6. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
8. My lavatory kursi is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am menulis on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will anda please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife
tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are
plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
15. Will anda please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny
colour ¬ fit to drink.
16. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
burnt my knob off.
17. The man selanjutnya door has a large erection in the back garden, which
is unsightly and dangerous.
18. Our dapur floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it.
19. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when
he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
20. I wish to laporan that tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. then he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," berkata the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can anda make this thing work?" "Certainly," berkata the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" berkata the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
A crusty old man walks into a bank...
continue reading...
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
A crusty old man walks into a bank...
