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Showing acak articles (2726-2750 of 3623)
Opinion by EllentheStrange posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the puncak, atas of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy beruang and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. anda hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as anda can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say anda were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a acak person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive anda cheated on me with that whore" and point to a acak girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If anda are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If anda are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz atau dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
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List by kitkat709477 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1.everyone around anda has an attitude problem
2.your adding cokelat chips to your cheese omelet
3.the dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans
4.your husband/boyfriend is suddenly agreeing to everything anda say
5.your using your cellphone to dial up every bumpersticker that says "hows my driving call 1-800-***-dating"
6.everyone head looks like an invitation to batting practice
7.you're convinced theres a god and he's male
8.you're counting down the days till menopause
9.you're sure everyone is scheming to dive anda crazy
10.the ibuprofen bottle is empty and anda just bought it yesterday
11.you just want to meninju, pukulan someone without a reason
12.if anda start wondering if pms is excuse to get away with murder
13.if anda were to busy thinking about ways to kill the last person who got on your nerves to realize I was only supposed to give anda 10

a little starotype but funny
*i didn't write this,just so anda know*
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List by kitkat709477 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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If women ruled the world
.Men would sit around and wonder what WE were thinking.
.Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams.
.PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
.Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
.Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in there pockets.
.A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
.Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase oleh 40 pounds.
.Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.
."Ms." magazine would have an annual pakaian renang, baju renang issue featuring scantily clad male models.
.Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing food within two hours of tempat tidur time.
.Men would be secretaries for female bosses,working twice as hard for none of the credit.
.Little girls would read "snow white and the seven hunks".
.Men would bring drinks,chips and dip to women watching soap operas.
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Guide by ShiningsTar542 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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If anda want to get a professional look when anda do your make-up then anda need to make sure that anda are using the right set of tools!

It is not possible to blend in your eyeshadow if anda are not using the right sort of brush. Every look and product needs its own brush. If anda look at what the professionals use, they have a brush for everything! Some brushes are for blending while others are for precise moves.

anda don't need to have a thousand brushes, but anda should have a good selection in your make-up kit.

Large brush for powder and liquid cover-up: The name says it all. This large brush is used to cover the face with powder and distribute it evenly.

Blush brush: Also large but thinner, this brush is for blush. Use it to spread blush along your cheekbones. Don't mix this brush with other brushes.

Eyeshadow brush: This is the one you're going to use to apply the color. It is short and thick with lebih of an edge than other brushes.
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Article by CullenProperty posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal; The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair & now... the wax.

Read on...

My night began as any other normal weeknight; Came home, fixed dinner, play with the kids.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the selanjutnya few hours; 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet...' So, I head to the site of my demise; The Bathroom.

It was one of those 'Cold Wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, anda just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm & anda peel them apart & press them to your leg (or wherever else) & anda pull the hair right off; No muss. No fuss. How hard could it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK?!)

So, I pull one of the think strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. But, instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in, so I get out the hair dryer & heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold Wax', yeah... right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight &...
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List by cloudstrifefan posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1.Einstein was four years old before he could speak.
2.Issac Newton did poorly in grade school.
3.Beethoven's musik teacher once berkata of him,"As a composer,he is hopeless."
4.When Thomas Edison was a boy his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything.
5.Michael Jordan was cut from his high school bola basket team.Boston Celtics Hall of Famers Bob Cousy and Bill Russel suffered the same fate.
5.A newspaper editor fired Walt disney because he had no good ideas.
6.Winston Churchill failed the sixth grade.
7.Steven Spielberg dropped out of high school in his sophomore year. He was persuaded to come back and placed in a learning disabled class. He lasted a bulan and dropped out forever.
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Opinion by ShiningsTar542 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Air, pollution, hair drying and the curling irons...

These all take their toll on healthy hair. After a while, hair loses its shine and volume.

That's why we have a trick for anda today to put the shine back in your locks using natural products.

The first thing anda need to do is beat an egg white with two meja spoons of apel, apple vinegar. Apply this mix to your hair and let it work for 15 minutes.

Then wash your hair with shampoo and use the conditioner that anda usually do.

Now anda are ready for the selanjutnya step. While anda have the first mix on, boil some water with parsley. Before washing your hair, take out the parsley and let the left over parsley water cool. Bring it with anda when anda wash out your hair.

Attention: when anda wash out the shampoo and the conditioner, then apply the parsley water for one last shine treatment.

Between the egg mix and the parsley, your hair should be truly shiny.
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can anda tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick, tuas kendali is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her lebih attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do anda say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are anda boys all in the same band?
A3: Do anda guys all play for the Green teluk, da? Packers?

Q: How do anda make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The lebih anda bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a bir bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spageti, spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when anda eat them.
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Opinion by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Blonde Cop


This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification.

The blonde driver looks all around in her tas, dompet and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer.”

“Well, do anda have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop.

The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and says, “I do have this picture of me.”

“Let me see it,” says the cop. She holds up the mirror and looks in it. Then she says, “Sorry. If I had known anda were a police officer, I wouldn’t have stopped you.”



Civic Lesson

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born...
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Death Row in Women’s Prison
Three women are about to be executed. One’’s a brunette, one’’s a redhead, and one’’s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette meneruskan, ke depan and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready! Aim…”
Suddenly the brunette yells, “EARTHQUAKE!!!”
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while [...]

Jamaica
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must pindah to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in [...]

Blonde at a strip mall
What did the blonde say after he went to the strip mall?
“I was disappointed. Everybody else had their clothes on.”

Car hangers
Why do blondes keep hangers in their cars?
In case they lock themselves out.
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List by Spi_Kat_Penguin posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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The following dumb laws are, atau were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before anda go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if anda bail off and do something stupid atau try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable oleh death.
Alaska

In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping beruang for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona

In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Fake carsickness.

Lean back in your kursi on the person behind you.
Ask. Are we there yet? Every 5 Minutes.

Have arguments with someone in the car.

Stick your head out the window like a dog.

Sing with the radio loudly even if anda don’t know the words.

Actually get carsick.

Play with every gadget anda find in the car.

Have belching contests.

Accelerate and brake every 4 seconds.

Count to 10 before going at a stop sign.

Run a yellow light but change your mind while anda still can.

Drive down the left turn lane.

Slow down when anda see a sign that says, “bridge may be icy,” especially in the dead of summer.

Stop at railroad crossings.

Drive with your feet.

Hit the gas and the brake at the same time.

Drive 46 mph on the expressway.

In the fast lane.

See how far across the seats anda can spit breath mints before anda get yelled at.
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List by jblover27 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1.We only care about if our butts look good and wat our boobs and hair look like
2.always tell us our hair and CLOTHES look good
3.tell us we have nice bodys
4.girls know when your faking it NO MATTER WAT
5.We are not afraid to hurt you
6.if we're tired atau cranky then make jokes then we want to kill you
7.dont be surprised if we're using anda to make someone jealous
8.if anda have a prob come tell us about it
9.we could break up with anda if your not a good kisser but we have the power to destroy you
10.no girls dads like their daughters first boyfriend
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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28 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

1.. We’re not as big of perverts as anda think we all are.

2.. No matter what anda say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole

3.. We like anda to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

4.. Don’t argue with us when we call anda beautiful.

5.. Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

6.. We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you.

7.. Don’t go into detail about your period. It scares us.

8.. If anda have cramps and we ask anda what’s wrong, just tell us it’s that time of the bulan and nothing more.

9.. If anda really liked us for us, anda would let us think that our mustache, beard, atau sideburns looked cool.

10.. We never shave our legs. Get over it.

11.. NEVER ask us if anda can put make up on us. It’s just wrong.

12.. Don’t make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us if anda don’t.
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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50 Things Girls Wish Guys Knew...
1. Don't tell us when anda think other girls are hot.
2. Whenever possible, please say whatever anda have to say during commercials.
3. If anda don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria's Secret models.
4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.
6. We think about anda ALL the time.
7. This is how we see it . . . Don't call = Don't Care.
8. Which also means that if we don't call, take the hint.
9. We like anda to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.
10. We hate that anda can eat all anda want and not get fat.
11. Return favors: we massage, anda massage; we go down, anda go down; we shave, anda shave (and not just your face).
12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.
13. We're allowed to be late . . . anda are not.
14. Eye contact is key.
15. Don't take longer to get ready than we do.
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. anda have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets anda a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If anda want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if anda are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place. But there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around. ~E.L. Konigsburg


Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so anda might as well be happy. ~Cynthia Nelms
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Fan fiction by InvaderStorm posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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He leaned against the wall, jantung thumping and out of breath. He’d managed it, what everyone told him was impossible. He’d escaped them for what must have been the millionth time. He had told the world about it, but of course, nobody believed him, as nobody ever escapes them.
    They had unimaginable power, with forces and numbers greater then anything anda have ever seen. They wanted him dead. Not the ‘you mencuri my soda and I am going to kill you’ dead, they didn’t stand childish antics like that. No, they wanted him 6 feet under dead. But he escaped every time. Some might say it was dumb luck, others might say he lied about the whole thing. But the real truth was: he outmatched them.
    Yes, one man managed to outmatch an army of which size anda wouldn’t believe if I told you. Nobody knows how it was possible, not even the man himself. All he knew is that he couldn’t let them take him, dead atau alive. For if they did, unimaginable things would happen to the world. He didn’t know exactly what those things were, but he knew whatever it was, it was bad news.
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Opinion by ShiningsTar542 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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This is a yummy and easy recipe. Perfect for a summer treat!

Here is what anda are going to need to make the pie:

* 1 sm. pkg. lemon Jello
* 1 tall can evaporated milk
* 2 eggs,
* 1 c. sugar
* 1 1/2 c. pineapple jus

First, beat eggs in a large pot add then add sugar and pineapple juice.

Then ask an adult for help. Mixing, bring sauce to a boil. Remove from heat and add lemon Jello.

Then, cool in a pan of water atau ice (about 1 hour).

Put evaporated susu in the largest pengaduk, mixer bowl and set into freezer until ice forms around edges. Then whip in pengaduk, mixer until stiff peaks form.

Now anda are half way there.

selanjutnya add the first mixture that has been cooling, in a slow stream and continue to beat until all is mixed together.

Pour into 2 (9") pie crust (or use vanilla crust).

Ready to eat? Not yet! Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.
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Opinion by beeibe posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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I found this beautiful artikel and I had to share :)


One hari a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of tampilkan his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did anda see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," berkata the son.
"So, tell me, what did anda learn from the trip?" asked the father.!
The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
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Opinion by Snugglebum posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Dear Teacher:

In just over a week, anda will be my son's Grade 1 teacher. He is ever so excited to be under your tutelage. Why, since the last hari of kindergarten, entering your class was all he could talk about. He gleefully thrust a piece of paper into my hand on that June afternoon, and said, "Here's a daftar of the stuff I need for school selanjutnya September!"

And I have to admit, I, too, was excited. I'm a school supplies geek from way back. And so, in early August, I set out to buy the items you'd listed.

It was on my fourth store that the realization began to sink in.

You're a crafty one, aren't you?

This daftar was a thinly disguised test. Could I find the items, exactly as you'd prescribed? Because if not, my son would be That Kid, the one with the Problem Mother, Who Can't Follow Directions.

For example, the glue sticks anda requested. In the 40 gram size. Three of the little buggers. (What kind of massive, sticky project you've got planned for the first hari of school that would require the students to bring all this glue, I cannot imagine.) But the 40 gram size doesn't come in a convenient 3-pack. The 30...
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten menit intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people anda can get
to gabung in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department oleh sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as anda see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
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List by karpach_13 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Entertainment

Don't confuse entertainment with watching a movie. Watching a movie is not very creative and can end up being expensive too. Here is a whole daftar of entertainment dates that are not expensive and still fun.

Take a hike in the woods
Go "people watching" at the mall
Go exploring around some Historical Sites
Go to the mall and pretend to toko for something (like an engagement ring atau a car)
Go to an art museum
Walk down a busy road eating M & M's and wave at the cars that are the same color as the M & M anda just ate.
Have a rumput fight
Make paper boats and float them down a stream atau pond
Play cops and robbers.
Have a water balloon fight.
Make and fly paper airplanes.
Create "fine" art (finger painting, jewelry making, play dough)
Play hopscotch in an empty parking lot.
Make kites and fly them at a park
Play kroket, kriket in the dark using flashlights.
Have a nerd contest. Set a dollar and go to a thrift shop. Then go somewhere wearing the outfits anda bought.
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Article by Dimka_Roza4eva posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A tikus survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for anjing are sold in Tokyo

6. A ikan lumba-lumba, lumba-lumba sleeps with one eye open

7. A buaya can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast musik makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs lebih than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia is the fear of crossing the street!

14. Alektorophobia is the fear of chickens

15. Alliumphobia is the fear of garlic

16. Amensiophobia is the fear of amnesia

17. Anablephobia is the fear of looking up
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Article by rukiarocks posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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1-play baseball with one cucumber

2-use a cucumber to sing along with your friends

3-put eyes and a nose to it and pretend it is your best friend

4-open a cumcumber store in front of your house and tell them anda are raising money to buy food for homeless dogs

5-go to a spa and take your own cucumber and complain that anda want them to use that cucumber cause it means alot for you

6-in valentines hari gift your friends a cucumber and tell them anda grew them with love

7-go to a grocery store and grab a cucumber then put it selanjutnya to your ear and say that he talks to anda and says he need a new halaman awal and thats why anda buy it

8-use the mr.potato pieces to create your own mr.cucumber


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Opinion by 7things posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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Your Mother also has her sentence she says and repeats it all the time?

Let us share ...

1. We don't say "Yuck."
2. I'm tired of repeating the same thing a hundred times.
3. I'm not your maid.
4. It's not over soon this comedy?
5. Stop sniffing blow your nose.
6. I have not heard the magic word.
7. anda don't say "I do not like" anda have not even tasted.
8. What we say to Mom?
9. File in your room!
10. Hurry up, you'll be late!
11. Don't wad of bread.
12. What are these grades?
13. Eat: it's full of vitamins.
14. But leave them alone!
15. Because it's like that, that's all.
16. Go on, shoo!
17. Pee, teeth and in bed!
18. No but you're not going well, you've seen before?
19. So that, I'm leaving without you!
20. Go wash your teeth!
21. What did I say? Are anda kidding me?
22. Enough now with this computer.
23. Eat your carrots, it's tasty.
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