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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my daftar of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let anda know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything atau eating anything anda might spit it atau something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the sapu late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the teluk, da? they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorit vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the jamur have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do anda call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do anda call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do anda make an octopus giggle ten times?
anda give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do anda make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorit composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between anda and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't anda hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher berkata it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomat blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do anda know if it's raining kucing and dogs?
anda step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do anda know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do anda get pikachu on a bus?
anda pokemon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't anda dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do anda call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
anda boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton menyeberang, salib the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do anda call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's berwarna merah muda, merah muda and fluffy?
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when anda drink 7 coca colas?
anda burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the ikan say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't anda trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope anda liked them. Make sure anda check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
Over the years we will run into people that are complete imbecules. Sometimes they say completely stupid things, and act like they're smart. This is the 10 most dumbest things people have ever berkata to me

10. "If anda keep telling me about your stories I won't read them."

This was diposting on my fanpop dinding oleh Pinkmare. She wanted to know about my latest fanfics, and I decided to post on her dinding letting her know what I was up to. She thought I was rushing her, even though I just told her about the story. I didn't even say "Read this immediately."

9. "Do anda want some beer?"

I was walking down the...
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posted by purplefreak855
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what anda make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is anda get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with anda through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll...
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posted by Nein-Nein
Aokigahara (青木ヶ原?), also known as the Sea of Trees (樹海 Jukai?), is a 35-square-kilometre (14 sq mi) forest that lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan.
The forest has a historic association with demons in Japanese mythology and is a populer place for suicides , The forest is a populer place for suicides, reportedly the most populer in jepang and detik in the world after San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. Statistics vary, but what is documented is that during the period leading up to 1988, about 100 suicides occurred there every year.
In 2002, 78 bodies were found within...
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 Awesome
Awesome
Tianmen Cave known as Gateway to Heaven is a natural bridge/arch and is reportedly highest elevation (1520 meters) natural arch in the World. Although it is an arch but locals call it a cave. As per local history it used to be cave and in circa 263 there was a massive collapse of the cliff face, which changed the cave into an arch. At that time the mountain was called Songliang, which was then changed to Tianmen meaning sacred.

It is 131.5 meters high, 57 meters wide and 60 meters deep. It is located close to Zhangjiajie city in western Hunan Province, China and is part of Wulingyuan Scenic Area - a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top.

The whole area is very scenic and was not easily accessible. However Tianmen Mountain Cableway - reportedly the longest passenger cableway in the World with a length of 7200 meters and a height gap of 1277 meters, now brings thousands of tourists to this natural wonder.
 One has to climb 999 steps to reach the puncak, atas
One has to climb 999 steps to reach the top
 STUNT oleh U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
STUNT BY U.S.S.R JET FIGHTERS
 Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
Glass path(4,700ft above sea level)
 Tianmen Mountain Cableway
Tianmen Mountain Cableway
hey everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these kutipan are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan,...
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posted by Alma_
Chuck Norris Jokes

-Some people wear superman pajamas. superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Only Chuck Norris knows the true end of the movie Inception

-When Chuck Norris throws a boomarang it doesn't dare come back

-Do anda know how many push ups Chuck Norris has done? All of them

-Neil Armstrong never went to the moon for NASA, he was trying to run away from Chuck Norris

-Chuck Norris knows the letter after Z

-Chuck Norris was the alien who told the Egyptians how to invent the pyramid

-What's Chuck Norris' favorit Number?....................CHUCK NORRIS

-Superman wears Chuck Norris underpants.

-When Chuck Norris falls out of a perahu he dosn't get wet the water gets Chuck Norrised

-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he just stares them down until he gets the information he wants out of them.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

-Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If anda have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours oleh hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by Me_Iz_Here
1) Scenes with swearing will be removed

2) All nudity scenes of France will also be removed

3) jepang is too "japanese" so 4Kids gives him blonde hair and blue eyes

4) All mentions of WW1 and WW2 will be removed

5) England's eyebrows will be too scary for little kids, so we give him thin eyebrows instead

6) All the Voice Actors will be American, and there will be no accents

7) Blood will be removed

8) Poland is actually a girl

9) Russia is removed because 4Kids are afraid of Russians (or anything that's foreign)

10) Prussia isn't a real country! So we'll remove him!

11) Neither is Sealand, so he is removed...
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posted by mehere
puncak, atas 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope anda like this one better than the first one please leave a komentar if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy beruang and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and berkata it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy beruang the sales man gave the girls the Teddy beruang for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy beruang evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy beruang ontop of the book case...
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1. People are lebih likely to tilt their heads to the right when ciuman instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known cinta song was written 4,000 years yang lalu and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term cinta relationships began with one atau both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in cinta can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on...
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 Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Not that anyone's interested, but here are my current puncak, atas 11 female 'celebrities'.



1. Cheryl Cole. (yeah, I didn't think you'd be surprised.)
-Words just can't describe how much I cinta this woman. If I try to then I'll take up this entire article.

2. Amy Lee.
- She has the most stunning voice, and she's absolutely beautiful; evanescence wouldn't have ever been evanescence without her. She's amazing.

3. Avril Lavigne.
- I'm a big fan of her music. She's cool, she's cute, and with all this, she has amazing hair. :3

4. Hayley Williams.
- She also has amazing hair, like all the people on this daftar actually....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear superman pajamas. superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a jantung attack. His jantung isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first anda don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on api with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm menulis this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did atau are doing this, atau that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and cinta and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by Bella_Dhampir
1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

2. "If barbie is so popular, why do anda have to buy her friends?"

3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)

4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)

5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)

6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” oleh the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains atau argues, reply with “What are anda gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with anda for Halloween

4. tampil him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile atau if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room atau says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” oleh Madonna.
posted by invadercalliope
Hello i'm InvaderCalliope!
emo Poems:
Poem number 1:
My tears are a sign of my fears,I've been drowning all these years.
I have to break out from this pain,Have to free me from this chain.
My jantung is filling up inside,I cannot run,I cannot hide.
Hate is filling up my mind,Its cinta i cannot find.
Poem number 2:
My friends call me emo.
My mom makes jokes.
My sisters are worried.
I'm not emo i say.
Stop making jokes.
They're not very funny.
No need to worry.
I promise i'll tell.
The End
posted by ShiningsTar542
There is a topless foto of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied oleh some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged foto of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” berkata her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED anda NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY anda LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY anda ARE-Bruno...
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NOTE EVERYONE I DID NOT MAKE THIS!!





* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to cari the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh anda just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if anda can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place anda look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would anda keep...
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