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401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.
402. I will not ask people what their demons are.
403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagne
.404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.
405. I will not call pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.
406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.
407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.
408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins...
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The world around me was covered in a blanket of white. The magnificent trees towered over me making me feel small…so small. In spite of the snow on the ground and the surrounding areas, I didn’t feel cold. Apparently, I was somewhere near the Shrieking Shack, but that was forbidden! What I was I doing there, I do not know. As I examined the place, I saw a tall figure at a distance. He was clad in black, such a contrast to the surroundings. His skin was pale too, almost as white as the snow. He reached out his left hand towards me and I mimicked his action subconsciously. When I did so,...
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posted by dragonsmemory
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended oleh me.

A Commanding Spell and Potion
oleh Dan "Rad" Cliffe

INCANTATION
Impero homo

DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as anda say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink peluru, cartridge (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat

SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
anda need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.

Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.

Thirdly, add the favorit drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will tempat tidur yours to command.