Season Five of Game of Thrones is approaching, and it’s time to start planning our viewing parties. Here’s a game to make sure everyone is happily wasted by the time the end credits roll.
1. When the opening theme plays, stand, clink your cups together, take a celebratory swig, and let the music wash over your entire being.
2. Anytime the dragons appear, take a shot of Fireball (or really, any type of hard liquor). Feel it buuuuurn.
3. Anytime Jon Snow looks intensely off into the distance, take a drink, shake your head, and lament, “You know nothing Jon Snow.”
4. Whenever someone says, “Winter is coming,” solemnly raise your cup and toast House Stark.
5. Each time someone shows her boobs, don’t drink. We don’t want you dying of alcohol poisoning.
6. If someone dies a gruesome death, take a shot and celebrate that it wasn’t Arya.
7. If Arya dies a gruesome death, just go ahead and drown your sorrows with all the alcohol you have left.
8. Whenever Sansa does something unexpectedly badass, take two large swigs, because let’s be honest, she’s turning into a serious bad ass bitch.
9. Each time Jorah looks longingly towards Daenerys, take a long, sad sip, and have a moment of silence for the friend zone.
10. Anytime Varys says something cryptic, pour yourself a glass of red, and sip it mysteriously.
11. Whenever Littlefinger looks creepily at Sansa, take two shots, and appreciate that even if your dating life is going horribly, it’s not nearly as bad as Sansa’s.
12. Anytime Cersei and Jamie start acting incestuous, chug your drink and pray they don’t make another Joffrey.
13. Whenever the White Walkers appear, stare icily into the distance, and finish the drink of the person to your left.
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Good at Netflix, naps, and Nutella. Not much else.
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