When it comes to falling for somebody anda know anda can never be with because
a) it's forbidden
b) potentially destructive atau even fatal
c) completely hopeless,
there are only three things anda can do. Deny, deny and then deny some more. anda avoid contact with him as much as possible, which isn't easy in a small town. anda refrain from uttering his name out-loud to anyone, not even in passing. Not even to yourself. anda keep any feelings anda have for him locked up tight, and anda throw away the key. In the daytime, anda can hide. Don't think, don't think, don't think about him. anda can lie, deny, ignore,...
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