I'm not a fan of Stefan at all. Especially this season (4) I've really grown to despise his character. So just for fun I decided to write a huge diary entry from Stefan about the past few episodes, and it's basically my opinion of Stefan but I'm menulis as though I am him. So I'm mocking him ;) Also I'm mocking Stefan's logic and his inability to accept the truth that's been laid out in front of him. And how oblivious and self absorbed Stefan really is. If you're big fan of Stefan atau like Stefan I advise anda not to read this. Please don't komentar if you're just going to try justify him. I did this for fun, it's lebih me just doing it for laughs but at the same time it's my opinion on Stefan and no one atau nothing can change it. I've never liked Stefan and I never will.
Stefan's latest diary entry:
"Dear diary, it's been a while I know. Elena and I stopped having all the sex so I have a lot of free time on my hands lately. My sexual frustration, depression and misery have caused me to open anda up again and inflict unbearable boring rants to you. No one else wants to listen to my problems, I'm too much of a whiny and self absorbed pompous ass, so you're the only one I have willing to hear my thoughts. Actually anda don't have a choice in the matter, so here it goes...
Recently my newly revamped girlfriend Elena and I decided it's for the best if we broke up, so we did. To be honest I'm mainly to blame for all this because I was too much of a pansy to say no to her when she begged me to leave her at the bottom of a river to drown alone. I tend to let her get her way because I'm scared she will hate me and well truth is I prefer dead Elena to scary and mad Elena. Luckily for me though my brothers blood was in her system and so she came back a vampire. I guess it's true what Damon said, he will always be the one to keep her alive. I mean even when he's not there he still manages to save her. Wow, and Elena still chose me over him even after that. Well to be honest I don't blame her I am the much lebih boring, moody and unattractive brother, she must dig that. But regardless of how unbelievably boring I am I'm still the good guy in all this because well let's face it I rip people apart limb from limb and sometimes their heads role off their bodies because I can't control my blood lust. But still I'm perfect because I used to be, key word "used" to be the good brother for like 5 menit tops. And well that was me pretending and also when I was lying to Elena about who I really was. But I'm getting off topic here, so back to the break up.
I'll admit I always kind of knew Elena was into my much lebih attractive older brother Damon a long time yang lalu but I chose to turn a blind eye to it because I'm a pure moron. Anyway the real reason Elena and I actually broke up is because she FINALLY admitted she's into Damon. I took it quite well at first, maybe because I'm not really digging Elena being a bad ass, awesome vampire, cause anda know I prefer depressed, suicidal and emo Elena because I'm immune to fun.
Anyway the hari after my breakup I was angry, furious and hungry. My boyfriend Klaus decided to pay me a friendly visit in the woods, and gave me no choice but to continue on searching for the cure for Elena. Then again I did still want it for her, she's too much of a broken little toy that needs serious repairing. Later Damon stopped me in the hall and started going on about finding a new hunter so Jeremy wouldn't have to go through what that Conner psycho did. My brother may have been doing the right thing but I was too preoccupied with hating on him because Elena having feelings for him is clearly all his fault. I mean he forced her into falling for him, it's not like Elena owns her own emotions. I told him about the breakup and to my surprise he didn't react the way I thought he would. But I didn't need any of his brother bonding business, I needed to go follow my boyfriend Klaus's orders because anda know he's the one who's ruined my life over and over I might as well help him make the most of his oleh handing him human bloodbag Elena on a silver platter. I went against my brothers and Elena's wishes and did everything in my power to ruin Jeremy's life. It even turned him against Elena. And if I hadn't been there to save her from my own stupid mistake then I wouldn't be branded the hero I make my self out to be. See that's my trademark, causing huge problems and then trying to fix it so I look like I'm really the good guy. It used to work like a charm but this time Elena wasn't as impressed as she used to be in the past. I don't understand why. I didn't do anything wrong, except turn her brother into a crazy hunter who wants to kill her, but that's besides the point. I saved her from my own mess doesn't that count for something.
Later that night Elena showed up at mine and Damon's house wearing a tight little number with some fancy heels, and well she looked really hot. Usually she dresses like a 10 tahun old school kid who wears dorky sneakers, but no on this balmy summer night she really decided to dress up. I don't really know why she came over looking so pretty and dressy, she never used to look that good when she was in cinta and dating me. Damon was also fashioning a nice black kemeja and trousers. It's almost like they were both dressed up to impress each other atau something. Anyway I decided to leave Elena and Damon alone that night because anda know I assumed Elena came over to get her hair plaited oleh Damon and maybe they'd play some bingo atau something. I wasn't really in the mood for boardgames so I thought it best I leave them both alone in that huge house, which has about 6 empty bedrooms oleh the way. Plus it's not like they were madly and undeniably in cinta with each other, so I had nothing to worry about oleh leaving them all alone through the night. Just as I was about to walk out I told Elena to pick a room to stay in. I wanted her bingo night with Damon to at least be fun. And well playing it on the dipan, sofa in the living room wouldn't be as comfortable as playing it in one of the bedrooms.
Speaking of bingo, about a tahun yang lalu Damon took Elena to Georgia with him and Elena never told me in detail what went down while they were there. But she did mention that some witch/bartender named Bree told Elena that her and Damon used to play bingo together back in college. Bree also bragged about how great at bingo Damon is and since then Elena has been quite eager to play it with him. So I figured they should have some privacy while playing, anda know I hate fun games and all, the ripper in me gets all hot and flustered and begs me to let him come out and play too, and we all know what happens when he's on the loose, heads roll (literally).
When I was outside The front I couldn't figure out where to go. I considered swinging past Klaus's but I would of been too tempted to jump into tempat tidur with him and well right now I was still reeling from my inevitable break up with Elena. Instead I went to Caroline's to stay because well she's my new BFF. And technically I went there to get wasted and sulk like always because Caroline is just as judgmental and whiny as I am. She came up with this theory that Elena was sired to Damon, and well ding ding ding jackpot for me. This meant that once I get the cure and turn Elena back to human her original team Stefan settings will be reinstalled and be up and running again. So I slept like a baby that night.
Then the selanjutnya morning I showed up at my house and Damon and Elena both answered the door looking quite chipper. Bingo must have gone well last night I thought to myself. Elena's hair looked kind of messy though, which isn't normal. Maybe the game got rough, I know how Damon gets when he plays. I then wondered who screamed bingo first and how many times through the night they played it. Damon's great at bingo, actually according to most people he's the best at it. Elena would have been dominated last night, but then again Damon loves her too much so he probably would of let her take the lead. She must have been screaming bingo all night long then, Damon's too whipped to not give her the pleasure of coming first.
Anyway Elena left for school and I told Damon we needed to talk. I told him straight out Elena's sired to him, of course my brother argued about it with me. But who cares, I knew after I found this cure the world would rotate on it's proper axis again. My brother didn't seem to grasp the fact that Elena was sired to him and that's the only reason she has a crush on him. I mean this weird witch we met while in New Orleans... Actually let me recap for a second. So Damon and I went to New Orleans to do some investigating and find out how to break the sire bond. Some one Damon knew years yang lalu had some crazy voodoo ritual to break the bond so I was getting excited because I knew I'd have Elena back in my tempat tidur in no time. This witch berkata some crap I chose to ignore because well as if the reason Elena is sired to Damon is because she has feelings for him. I just wasn't convinced that Elena could cinta Damon on her own accord. This sire bond has to be the reason, it just has to be. So I then basically told my brother flat out that his constant saving, protecting, loyalty, trust, care and intense cinta for Elena makes him the worst possible choice for her and I cannot believe she can't see how wrong he is for her, even though he would die for her without hesitation. But see, I'm a ripper, I'm a bore, I'm a miserable and a deranged serial killer, which from the bottom of my jantung I truly believe makes me the best choice for her.
Anyway Damon's feelings were hurt, boohoo! Who cares about him and his happiness. I just wanted my happiness back. But I apologized to him because well I felt guilty in a way, because soon Elena and I will be back together and Damon will be all alone again. I should cut him some slack I thought to myself. Also that witch berkata Damon needs to free Elena and never speak to her again atau be around her. This sounded great, so I begged and guilt tripped Damon into doing it. And well he promised me he would and I believed him because it's not that hard to let go of someone anda cinta so so much, and who anda would give your life up for. Damon wasn't going to struggle with this at all, it was a piece of cake for him.
But the selanjutnya night I found out from Caroline the big mouth, that Damon never set Elena free, and that the night I left them alone at the house they slept together. How the hell was that possible. How was I so wrong. How could they do this to me. How could Damon sleep with Elena who he is so incredibly and irretrievably in cinta with that it pains him. And how could he not let her go and stop being around her and tell her to leave him forever even after I told him to. This was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I felt so betrayed. Even though Elena and I were broken up, and she wanted Damon how could they do this to me. Poor little old selfish pahit me. I threw some things. A meja and a chess board to be exact. A few days past and well I spent my pitiful moments drinking my sorrows away at a bar, ignoring everyone except for bimbo Caroline. She's kinda cute to be honest, too bad she's dating a hybrid and also the oldest hybrid in the world wants her too. I should back off before he rippers me instead. Then again a three way between Caroline, Klaus and myself would work quite well. But that's getting off topic again. So back to the cinta story drama.
Anyway I get a call from sexy Rebekah, who I thought I manipulated into being temporarily dead a few weeks ago. I questioned which lunatic decided to wake her but to be honest I didn't really care. Rebekah makes my little man parts do crazy things. She's damn crazy but sexy at the same time. She told me she had Elena hostage. I couldn't help myself I had to go save Elena because well it's Elena and I was still holding out hope she'd run back to me once I find her this cure. Bek had some sadistic plans up her sleeve. See she figured out that Elena and I are the two biggest liars in Mystic Falls and also that we lie to each other lebih than we do to anyone else. She decided to go all truth atau dare on us. I found out that Elena slept with my brother because she's in cinta with him and also because he makes her happy. Pfft! Please all I heard in that answer was the sire bond talking, it's making Elena lose her mind. I mean she flat out admitted she is no longer in cinta with me and that I see her as a broken toy, which needs fixing. Which yes I do in fact see her that way but her being out of cinta with me is impossible, I refuse to believe it. I'm too much of a goody goody for Elena not to cinta me. This damn sire bond is ruining everything. Bek offered me a way out though, to eliminate every memory and moment shared between Elena and I since we met and also for my cinta to be taken away. I berkata yes to that. I mean screw Elena. She's not worth a damn, I didn't need her anymore. I was choosing to be a coward and walk away rather than face the pain of heartbreak, that millions of people suffer every single day. I'm not a selfish bastard at all. But bitchy Bek screwed me over, she didn't erase my memories at all. I was shattered so I just literally walked away from Elena because well I'm an immature baby. Anyway later that same night I decided to call Rebekah over to my empty mansion. I realized we are both just as crazy as each other so we might as well team up and scheme against everyone else who's trying to find the cure. I obviously hate Damon because I can't stand to see him happy. Also I'm still convinced this sire bond is the reason for all that has changed lately so I'm not giving up on this cure, even though I'm too blind to see the facts that have been handed to me on a silver platter. Anyway the selanjutnya morning I got out of the mandi, shower and Sexy Bek was laying on my tempat tidur in a kinky black shirt, jubah I couldn't even tell what I just wanted to rip it off her and lick her all over. I'm done with Elena oleh the way, well I guess at least until I find the cure. But till then she's just a big fat nothing to me. All hari there was this sexual tension lingering between Bek and I. She kept trying to remind me about our past when we were pasangan and It was actually kind of fun. I was tempted, because here in front of me was a hot blonde bombshell wanting to ride me and I too wanted to get inside her panties. I realized that Bek is a crazy menggerutu, jalang and that's why the naughty thoughts in my head were starting to get me seriously excited. Unfortunately we got cockblocked just as I was about to jump her bones. Bloody hell! I thought only Damon and Elena could get cockblocked. I cinta cockblocking them oleh the way. But why does the same thing have to happen to me I told myself. Anyway Bek and I had to go on with our little contingency plan so we put off the sex fantasies for the time being. Hours later I got a call from Elena. Sexy Bek answered it and I must admit I was relived. I really wanted to irk Elena and cause her pain and jealousy, because well I'm a spiteful ass. Elena wanted me to go save her pantat, keledai again, from my brother, who was compelled to kill her brother. What a screwed up world we all live in aye. Anyway I pondered on the thought of whether I'd stay and have dirty hate sex with Bek atau whether I'd go save the hari and be the hero I pretend I am. Well I told myself I should probably go help Elena that way I can get her to hate my brother again and I can manipulate her into falling in cinta with me. So that's exactly what I did.
My brother Damon was standing there ready to die to protect Jeremy and spare Elena's feelings of killing her brother, so I pushed Damon out of the way then blamed him for everything and made him out to be the bad guy as always. Because that's all I'm good for, pointing the finger at everyone else, especially Damon and never taking the blame atau owning up to my own stupid actions.
Later out of even lebih spite and revenge I happily locked Damon in a cell. I fed him some big lie about how him being locked up is for everyone's own good, even though the real reason is I wanted to keep him and Elena apart, so they don't have sex again. Especially until I find this cure and then I'll be the one who can take Elena to tempat tidur again. Damon begged me to see Elena but I was not going to allow either of them to get even within arms length of each other. I'll do whatever it takes to keep them apart. Elena is my property and I make the choices around here now. I don't mind Elena asking me to let her die but her asking to see Damon is a huge no no. Anyway she couldn't keep away from my brother, but I forbid her to see him. I mean she is sired to him it's the only reason she came to see him right. She then started on me about why I'm hanging with Bek. Well not that it was any of her business but because I was so eager to piss Elena off I told her I don't cinta her any more. Which to be fair is technically true. See I don't cinta vampire Elena. So until I get my sweet, boring, whining and human Elena back when I find this cure I'm going to continue to be a ruthless dick. This is who I truly am after all. Elena just doesn't know me well enough. But I left her with some wise words about her beloved sire friend Damon, I told her how evil he is and how bad everything he does is. That ought to shut her up. She left sad. And because I'm such an ignorant idiot I convinced myself she's sad because of me. I really can't wait till this sire bond is gone. But until then I'm in desperate need of sex. So I went over to Bek's place and well truth is yeah she did kill Elena, and she is responsible for why Elena is now a vampire and why my whole entire life is a mess right now, she's also responsible for my baru saja heartbreak, my anger, my ripper side slowly coming out again. But anda know what I'm the f**king good brother so I'm going to screw her brains out and have some fun with the devil woman who killed the girl I claimed was the cinta of my life. That seems like the best option here don't anda think. And while Damon's rotting in a cell all alone wanting so badly to see his girl Elena, and Elena is at halaman awal missing him and hurting over him, I'm having hot sex with the biggest menggerutu, jalang in Mystic Falls. I'm not a selfish asshole at all. Damon and Elena's happiness doesn't mean anything to me. As long as I'm getting all the rewards and pleasure those two can sit and suffer oleh being apart. This is why I'm the good brother. I deserve Elena after everything, not Damon but me. I've lied to her over and over, I've tried to drive her off Wickery bridge and torment her, I've begged Bek to erase every memory of Elena I ever had, I've teamed up with the enemies (Bek and Klaus) so I can get what I want for selfish reasons, I've ripped apart thousands upon thousands of innocent people and enjoyed it, I tried to fix Elena and turn her into what I want her to be instead of who she really is. I told Elena I no longer cinta her to hurt her, I turned Jeremy into a nutcase vampire hunter who's life is now in serious danger and the best thing of all that I ever did was let Elena die. If that isn't true cinta then I don't know what the hell is. So when I find this cure Elena and I will be reunited and I can sculpture her back into what I want her to be and we can live miserably ever after..."