Story: "Don’t leave me behind"

Author: edwestwick (Ana)

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gossip girl atau used songs.

Summary: Chuck is going to leave New York for good after he saw Blair with Nate. Will Blair see who she really has kupu-kupu for and what if it’s too late?

I know the letter might not seem completely like something Chuck would write but he thinks he will probably never see her again so…

“And I keep my jealousy close,
'Cause it's all mine.
And if anda say this makes anda happy,
Then I'm not the only one lying.”
"Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner" Fall Out Boy

Blair’s Pov:

As the door closed after me and Nate I started to think what I’m doing. Few hours yang lalu I was sure I’ll just go with Nate, have fun like old times – not that we had much of it while we were together – and than spend the night in Chuck’s suite. Just like I told him:

“I don’t like it that you’re going with Nathaniel.” He berkata as we were laying together after our make up.

“I told anda it’s just as friends.” really couldn’t he see that?

“But he told me he wants anda back.”

“Why do anda care so much? Are anda jealous atau something?” we’re only sleeping together and he acts like I’m his few years girlfriend!

“Of course not. So I’ll see anda after Cotillion?” he sounded strange. Like he didn’t like me dismissing idea of him being jealous. I mean he couldn’t be. I get it that he was at my birthday when he thought he has kupu-kupu but it disappeared oleh now for sure.

“Sure.” After that we came back to our usual activities.

And everything was going good until Nate punched Carter. Than I came back and he was there. Did he really think I won’t figure it out?

“Where's Nate?”

“Nate was asked to leave, but here I am.”

“I know that look. It's the look when your plan falls into place. You're enjoying this. anda knew Carter was going to my house, anda tipped off Gossip Girl... anda ruined my Cotillion on purpose. anda did all this for your own enjoyment and didn't care what it would do to me which is exactly why anda and I could never work”

I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think he cared about me. I guess I just got what I should knew will happen. It was just a game for him, I bet he’s fucking some whore right now. Just like you’re about to fuck Nate. No. Nate and I will make love. I cinta Nate. I have to. It’s not like Chuck loves me. He’s Chuck Bass! He doesn’t cinta anyone but himself. He doesn’t have butterflies, sleep with the same girl twice atau buy jewelry either. No it’s impossible! I can’t be in cinta with him! It was just fooling around. Than maybe it wasn’t for him I thought when I remembered one night.

After hours of our usual activities we were laying in Chuck’s bed. His hands were running over my body, touching every place he could find. He has his face in my hair and was ciuman my neck. I never took Chuck for cuddling after sex type. Then how could anyone if he dismissed girl five menit after? But I loved this new side of him and that I was the only one who got to seeing it. I heard him whisper something that sounded like”Don’t leave me” but I couldn’t be sure as I couldn’t see his face. I asked him about it but he just kissed me again so I brushed it off.

Guess he really cared about what we had. Not that it matters anymore, because after this I’m sure he hates me. Well he should. I didn’t even let him explain and ran to Nate without thinking twice. At this thought I pushed Nate away from me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just don’t think we should do this.”

“What?” he asked confused. At least he had a reason for once.

“I just…” fortunately I didn’t have to explain this to him since the doors opened and Serena burst in with hurry.

“S? What are anda doing here? Shouldn’t anda be with Cabbage Patch?” I asked.

“Blair I have to talk with you.”

“Sure.” We stepped outside leaving Nate alone.

“What’s going on S?”

“B anda have to read this. I think Chuck’s leaving for good.” She handed me a letter.

“What are talking about S?” She couldn’t be serious. Leaving? I knew he would most likely get drunk and high with some sluts but couldn’t he do it here?

“Just read it I don’t know exactly what he meant but it didn’t sound good.”

“Where is he?”

“He left ten menit ago. I was with Dan when he gave me this so I ran to give anda this but I couldn’t find anda anywhere.”

I ripped it open quickly and started reading.

Blair,

I don’t know why I’m menulis this. anda probably won’t even read it. Why would you? anda have your dream life again and we both know I’m not in it. So why would anda care about me? It’s not like anda ever really did and I can’t blame anda for it. My own father hates me and don’t give a damn about me so why would someone perfect like anda do? I’m just one big fuck up. But since I don’t think I’ll see anda ever again (sorry don’t think I’ll make it to your wedding) I wanted to let anda know that however susah dipercaya it seems ever for me I think that I cinta you. I think I do because I don’t really know what it means. No one ever berkata it to me so how could I? But I cinta how anda feel, I cinta your kisses, I cinta how anda always challenge me and I loved our time together this past few weeks. And I would do everything to make anda happy if you’d let me but I guess it’s Nathaniel’s job like it always was. I’m sure everything will play out just like anda always wanted and don’t worry I won’t tell Nate anything. At least one of as will be happy. I bet you’d laugh at me if you’d ever read it. You’ll be right I’m akting like some pathetic ex. Not that I am one. Ok I’ll better end before I’ll make lebih of a fool from myself.

Chuck

With each word I had lebih tears in my eyes. How could I be so stupid to not see what was right in front of me all this time? Guess it’s right that anda don’t see what anda had until anda lose it. Now I won’t even see him again. I can’t just let it happen.

“Blair is everything ok?” I heard Serena ask. Stupid Serena! Of course it isn’t!

“I have to go S. Tell Nate something.” I answered and started running towards exit.