“Cut it out!” Pein yelled at his akatsuki subordinates. Once again his meeting was interrupted oleh Kakuzu and Hidan’s fighting as well as Deidara and Sasori debating what art was. They continued in spite of him, so Konan threw several paper bomb airplanes at them. They exploded causing them to panic, Hidan in particular. “What the f*** was that about?” “Pein was speaking and anda were all fighting like children on a playground!” Kisame laughed at the others getting in trouble and Itachi rolled his eyes. Sasori responded, “Well Deidara and I were just having a lively debate. Kakuzu and Hidan were the ones getting physical.” A vein throbbed in Pein’s head. “All this fighting within the organization can’t be good for efficiency. I think we are going to make some changes.” Kakuzu looked up. “Like what?” Pein waved Zetsu over as he explained. “I’m talking about new teams. Kakuzu will now work with Deidara and Sasori will now work with Hidan.” All four were surprised oleh this decision. Zetsu then membagi, split into black and white Zetsu to give a scroll to the two new teams. White Zetsu walked over to Deidara and Kakuzu. “Your mission shall be to intercept a caravan that is secretly moving a shipment of emas to the Land of Waves.” Black Zetsu handed the other scroll to Sasori and Hidan. “Your mission is to raid a small market to restock our food and water supplies.” Hidan was angry. “So were just doing your f****** grocery shopping?” Black Zetsu responded, “You can kill anyone anda want.” Hidan smiled at this prospect. “No waiting in lines behind assholes for me.” Zetsu began to fuse back together as Pein continued the explanation. “These missions will help me see if you’re affective as teams. Now go.” Kakuzu and Deidara were flying on one of Deidara’s clay bird. They saw the caravan passing oleh below. Kakuzu looked over at Deidara as the api and water masks emerged from his body. “Remember are strategy?” Deidara replied, “Yeah. It doesn’t really tampil off my art very much un.” Kakuzu ignored Deidara’s complaint. “Fire Style: Searing Migraine!” The api mask unleashed a wave of api setting the caravan ablaze. Many people began to scatter in different directions. Several explosions went off as the caravan members set off Deidara’s clay landmines. The clay bird landed and the two teammates hopped off as the water mask doused the fire. Kakuzu opened the chest revealing the emas coins. Kakuzu held them greedily in his fingers. “Wipe your face Kakuzu. The emas is making anda drool a little un.” Kakuzu’s masks merged back into his body as he loaded the chest of emas onto the bird. Meanwhile Hidan and Sasori were arriving at the market. Sasori took out a scroll. “Performance of a Hundred Puppets!” Sasori’s puppets quickly gathered numerous groceries and destroyed the stands at the market place. Hidan prayed to Jashin and began to slash the civilians to pieces with his scythe. “This s*** is the best. Nothing like killing a bunch of f****** heathens.” After all the people at the market were dead Hidan made the Jashin symbol on the ground and laid down in it. “This is going to take an hour.” Sasori shrugged. “Fine. I can turn some of these people into puppets.” Unbeknownst to the four Akatsuki, Zetsu had been spying and went back to the headquarters to laporan what they saw. They both reported that the teams accomplished their missions easily. Pein nodded. “Excellent. Then their new partnerships shall be made permanent.” It was about a bulan later that the two teams were heading to the monthly akatsuki meeting. Kakuzu and Deidara were riding Deidara’s clay bird. Deidara noticed Kakuzu was twitching slightly. “Is something wrong un?” Kakuzu looked behind him and shouted, “Nothing’s wrong! Nothing at all! anda hear me!” “I think people on another planet could hear anda un. Why are anda twitching?” Kakuzu struggled to take a deep breath. “All my rage is pent up and I don’t have anyone to take it out on because anda never want to fight.” “Well excuse me! I don’t want to risk one of us getting killed and Pein getting mad at us un.” Meanwhile Sasori and Hidan were walking towards the akatsuki hideout. Hidan broke the silence. “Hey do anda have any puppet bitches that anda like to f***?” Sasori looked at him. “No. Such behavior is indecent.” Hidan laughed. “I bet you’re a total f****** perv.” “Whatever.” Hidan became enraged and blocked Sasori’s path. “How come anda never get mad when I insult you?” “I don’t really feel much of anything. Why would I get mad at some petty insults anyway?” Hidan let out a depressing sigh as he put his scythe away and they continued to walk. As all the teams arrived at the headquarters, Pein began the meeting. “I am happy to say that this has been a very productive bulan for Akatsuki. Kakuzu tell everyone how we are doing financially.” Pein looked at Kakuzu, whose whole body seemed to be twitching and eyes seemed bugged out. “What’s with you?” Hidan laughed. “He looks like he is f***** up on drugs atau something.” Kakuzu launched his fist and it landed square on Hidan’s nose as he fell back. Hidan smiled and drew his scythe. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Kakuzu charged at Hidan with his fists clenched. Kisame looked at Itachi. “I got twenty bucks on Hidan.” Itachi glared at Kisame. “That is utterly childish… make it thirty.” Meanwhile Deidara and Sasori slowly stepped beside each other as Kakuzu and Hidan fought. “Kakuzu had no respect for art un.” “Hidan was quite similar.” Deidara smiled slightly. “Last time we spoke I believe we were arguing about the contributions of Rembrandt’s art un.” Sasori smiled slightly. “Why yes I believe we were.” A vein seemed to pop in Pein’s head. “I’m surrounded oleh imbeciles.” Finally the fight was over and Hidan and Kakuzu walked back to the meeting severely bruised. “Anyways we have shown a tremendous rise in revenues sir.” “Good. It is clear anda are all dysfunctional no matter what so I might as well let anda resume your old partnerships. Anyways it is time to begin our jinchuriki hunt so I am sending Itachi and Kisame to Konoha to obtain the Nine Tails from a boy named Naruto.” They nodded and went off as Kisame handed Itachi thirty bucks.
The akatsuki hideout everyone is out looking for jinchuuriki's apart from Itach,Kisame,Sasori,Deidara and Tobi:
Deidara:So what did Itachi say he was cooking?
Tobi:Ooh,Deidara sempai,Deidara sempai,Tobi knows,Itachi berkata he was making sushi,Tobi is a good boy!
Deidara:*twitching left eye*Sure anda are,Tobi
Tobi:YAY,Deidara sempai,thinks Tobi is a good boy
Sasori:*thinking*Hmmmm I wounder where,Kisame,went?
(Itachi enters with a plate of sushi)
Itachi:Who wants sushi?
Tobi:ooh,Tobi,does!
Sasori:since when is sushi blue?
Deidara:Has anyone seen,kisame?
Deidara:So what did Itachi say he was cooking?
Tobi:Ooh,Deidara sempai,Deidara sempai,Tobi knows,Itachi berkata he was making sushi,Tobi is a good boy!
Deidara:*twitching left eye*Sure anda are,Tobi
Tobi:YAY,Deidara sempai,thinks Tobi is a good boy
Sasori:*thinking*Hmmmm I wounder where,Kisame,went?
(Itachi enters with a plate of sushi)
Itachi:Who wants sushi?
Tobi:ooh,Tobi,does!
Sasori:since when is sushi blue?
Deidara:Has anyone seen,kisame?